Holy fucking cock monkeys I got a shamwow today and nigger loving titties this thing rocks the pastors balls like a young prepubecent altar boy. Goddamn, I’ve never seen something absorb this much liquid since I saw my friend Stacy take a pornstar load from her booty call Jenkim Huffins. But yo I heard that through the grapevine and if a nigga be gossipin his shit will get bottled man. Anyways just to try this bad boy out I masturbated so hard that I fuckin squirted so damn hard that I screamed in a pitch only dogs can hear and accidentally killed my neighbors dog, whoops haha. So this vaginal fluid was all over the carpet and I mean my mom was over to visit and was like “honey? you have something on your feet. Let me get it for you… goddamn you must have been as horny as Jesus on the cross.” Well of course I was, I often get that way when I’m watching the Golden Girls, who the fuck doesn’t? The point of the story being that the shamwow sucked that shit up like an aged prostitute. So I donated that one to an orphanage and bought 3 more!
Originally posted 2009-01-27 05:08:16.
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